The Ideal Nurse

Jan Allen

Yesterday, I got my first COVID vaccine from the ideal nurse. 

Was this nurse sweet and gentle? Far from it. She was fierce. 

When I pulled up to her station in a hospital parking lot, the nurse greeted me politely and asked me to open my car door. I made eye contact with her, but I avoided making small talk.  I have learned the hard way that you do not ask a nurse about her day or about her weekend before a procedure. Such simple questions can result in answers like…”This weekend, my little boy was hit by a car while he was out on his bike.” And can result in getting poked in the wrong place, getting poked several times, or being diagnosed with a fictional case of bad veins. 

Consider this observation a public service announcement for those of you who don’t get poked all that often. Now, back to our story. 

This nurse and I were off to a good start. We made eye contact. As requested, I  opened my car door. And then suddenly, our calm was shattered. The nurses’s brown eyes ignited and she was rising from her stool, shouting at some hapless co-worker in blue scrubs, who was approaching with armload of medical paraphernalia. “Don’t even THINK about passing those big needles off on me,” she yelled. “Nope! I won’t have them.” 

I have never seen a mask inflate and deflate as hard as hers did as she hollered at this co-worker. The nurse then turned to me, and said very sweetly, “You are getting a tiny needle. You have a tiny arm.” 

When she gave me my shot, I did not feel it. 

That’s my kind of nurse. 

In celebration of nurses, I’d like to share this short story by a member of my writing workshop, Jan Allen, a former nurse and a born writer who is as talented as she is unpretentious.

If you liked that story, you’ll like this one, too! I feel so lucky I get to read Jan’s work every week. 

http://www.sixfold.org/FicWinter19/Allen.html

Another long time workshopper, Andrea Rotterman, has spent years crafting  an incredibly moving memoir, Becoming an Only Child. Our workshop is now going over the final draft one last time. Here is link of a short piece she wrote to get a taste of her lyrical prose style: 

https://www.riverteethjournal.com/blog/2015/11/02/something-sweet

And a link to her layered editorial:

https://cin.ci/2zB7R1V


The most prolific writer in our workshop is the boundlessly imaginative Maria McKenzie; she’s currently circulating a screenplay while editing yet another novel. These are the books she’s published while in our workshop: 

The Governor’s Sons – Kindle edition by McKenzie, Maria. Literature & Fiction Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

Unchained (3 book series) Kindle Edition (amazon.com)

Deseré: A Love Story of the American South: McKenzie, Maria: 9781979663786: Amazon.com: Books

From Cad to Cadaver: A Black Ops Detective Agency Mystery – Kindle edition by McKenzie, Maria. Literature & Fiction Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

You can find catch up with Maria at mariamckenziewrites.com or   readandwriteromance.blogspot.com.

As for me: I’m sorry you haven’t been seeing many blog posts!

I have been busy writing in my second language, 19th Century English. I am creating a version of Pride and Prejudice that examines the relationship between Lydia Bennet, the most maligned Bennet sister, and Chamberlayne, the only cross-dresser in the book. I am so grateful to the writers in my group for giving me the courage to take on this audacious project. One fine day I hope to use this blog to urge you to buy my book at your local independently owned bookstore. 

Stress and MS

Happy day! The verdict is in. Multiple Sclerosis (MS) is not caused by stress.
The NIH (National Institutes of Health) has been following two enormous groups of nurses over two massive spans of time, and they have found no link whatsoever between traumatic life events and the onset of multiple sclerosis.
Zero, nada.
I know I sound a bit overblown. But that doesn’t mean that I am exaggerating. I’m not even over-exaggerating (a distinction we often make in my larger-than-life family-of-origin.)
The two groups studied really were enormous: 121,700 nurses in Study One, and 16,671 nurses in Study 2.
The two time spans really were massive, maybe not massive in geologic time, but certainly massive in biologic time. The first group has been followed since 1976 (Number 1 song of ’75: Silly Love Songs by Paul McCartney and Wings.) The second group has been followed since 1989. (Number 1 song of ’89: Look Away, by Chicago. Was I asleep that year?)
The nurses in both enormous groups were asked to complete a questionairre about their personal history of stressful events. After they handed in their questionnaires, they went about their normal lives. A minority of the nurses who completed this questionnaire would later find that their normal lives would be disrupted by MS.
When investigators compared the answers from the group of nurses who were destined to develop MS with the answers from the nurses who were destined to remain healthy, they found no significant difference in self-reported levels of stress and/or stressful events.
I feel so vindicated.
There are so many subtle and not-so-subtle ways of blaming of victim. With my MS diagnosis came the injunction to avoid stress. I don’t necessarily think that was an entirely bad piece of advice, although, under the circumstances, it wasn’t particularly easy advice to follow. No one ever outright accussed me of creating my disease state because I’d been under too much stress. That was entirely my own inference. I’ve been blaming myself ever since.
Since my diagnosis, I have made it a priority to avoid stress. I’ve done plenty of yoga. Not enough meditation. When I’ve gotten pissed off, I have, on occasion, actually slowed down long enough to count to ten. I am, without a doubt, a happier, more even-tempered person than I was before my diagnosis. I might not have made such an effort had I not believed it would contribute to my health.
So I can’t say I have a quarrel with avoiding stress. I have a quarrel with the notion that a person with MS has a stronger obligation to finesse stress than a person without MS.
I would like to propose that there is something intrinsically wrong with the assumption that multiple sclerosis is a flawed emotional response, rather than a flawed immune response.
I’ve had MS since at least 1988 (Faith, George Michael). I am a study of one. I am lacking a control group. As both investigator and subject of my own disease, I have had a “massive” amount of time to explore the complex interplay between multipe sclerosis and stress. For what it’s worth, this is what I have observed. Stress is not the only response that can trigger MS symptoms. Any old emotion will do. Joy, for instance. I will never forget the excruciating pain that shot through my legs when I learned that a family friend would be lending us his apartment in Paris.
If I want to eliminate pain from my life, does that mean I ought to eliminate joy?
I don’t think so.
I’d like to propose a paradigm shift.
Let’s stop fussing over eliminating stress. Let’s focus, instead, on eliminating MS.

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